Community Corner

Talking To Your Kids About Boston Marathon Tragedy

Here on the Peninsula, we were deeply and emotionally affected by the tragedy on the opposite coast. Here are strategies from local experts for talking and listening to your children about the news.

In the wake of the Boston Marathon explosions, Peninsula parents may find their children hearing about the tragedy or seeing it on the news or online and find themselves in a difficult discussion.

For parents seeking guidance on how to address the tragedy with their own children, honest, age-appropriate communication with children is one of the most important elements of helping youngsters handle news of traumatic events, according to Victor Carrion, MD, a child and adolescent psychiatrist at Lucile Packard Children’s Hospital at Stanford

Encourage discussion with your children, but do not force it, Carrion said. Let your kids know that the conversation is welcome but that if the child doesn’t want to, don’t make them. Don’t force bravery; let them know that it’s ok to be fearful or angry or sad, that it’s okay for them to have their reaction. It’s also very important to assure young children of their safety. If that is one of their concerns, then it is important to give the message, “You are protected. You are safe.” 

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University of California San Francisco child-trauma expert Patricia Van Horn, JD, PhD, says parents should be honest with their children about what happened.

Van Horn, director of the Infant, Child and Adolescent Services and associate director of the Child Trauma Research Program at the UCSF-affiliated San Francisco General Hospital and Trauma Center, says parents should provide the facts about such incidents within what’s developmentally age-appropriate for them to hear.

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Parents should give their children an opportunity to express their feelings about what happened, she says. “Listen to what they have to say and validate their feelings.”

“It is very important that parents be as reassuring as they can realistically be,” Van Horn says. “I would talk to young children about the ways in which their families and their school is working to protect them.”

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) also has a 24-hour hotline dedicated to providing disaster crisis counseling at 1-800-985-5990 or by texting "TalkWithUs" to 66746. The hotline is open to US residents who are experiencing psychological distress as a result of a natural or man-made disasters, incidents of mass violence or any other disasters.

SAMHSA also has tips for students, schools, adults, families, responders and health professionals in dealing with tragedies.

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