When Are Kids Old Enough for Facebook and Cell Phones?

I can think of many items I’ve heard of parents holding out on granting to their children.

Many believe that the responsibility for a cell phone has to be earned. Texting is quite often not included in that cell phone until a later “reward” is granted. What about Facebook, Skype, Gmail, Buzz and Twitter? Do we know enough about these apps to make a good decision?

How many parents are requiring their children to wait for their driver’s permit and license until they are older—some reasons due to the added expense of insurance and driving, the obligation on the family to provide driver’s training instead of the high school, or the maturity of the child?

Many of my son’s friends are not anxious to get this item that was so coveted by teens in the past. This could be because it is not as common place for a teen to automatically get their license on their 16th birthday and because the freedom is not as great because of the many restrictions on a new driver who is under 18.

When we were young, our parents didn’t have to deal with issues such as these. I don’t recall any items, other than a driver’s license, that we were told, “when you reach xx years old, I’ll let you have it” and with a driver’s license, way back when I was 16, it was pretty much assumed that you got your permit at 15 ½ and your license at 16.

Sometimes, giving our children these “rewards” has alternative benefits for us parents. Several times, when my daughter has been frustrated with a particular friend, I’ve suggested she have patience, that the girl is a nice girl and that I’m sure things will work out. A couple times, I’ve been given the look of amazement (I hope I am not the only parent who has been given the “Mom, how can you be so stupid” look) and told to look at the recent conversation stream on her Gmail or through Buzz. It has shown me a side of some of these children that I wouldn’t have believed possible. The bad language, the nasty comments to each other, the insults about others not involved in the communication—all of which is open for anyone who is acknowledged on their system as a “friend” to see. I’ve been given insight to assist me in future decisions as to which friendships to encourage, which of my children’s friends to trust, which companions I’ll allow for my children when given special privileges and which children I consider bad influences.

I realize that Facebook requires members to be 18 years old and that many children, including my own, have accounts stating their birth dates as several years prior to their actual birth dates. I’ve heard the stories of the predators and the dangers in Facebook and in chat rooms and have spoken to my children about these. One of the requirements I had of my children for them to have their own Facebook accounts is that they have me as one of their friends. I can block them from viewing my account, yet require them to give me full access to theirs. This allows them the fun of having the account, communicating with hundreds of other children (and yes, I do mean hundreds, because it seems that the main goal of many children is to see how many “friends” they can have on their accounts), and allows me to be a bit more aware of what is going on in my children’s social interactions and in their friends’ lives. Much like the communication streams on Gmail, I can see what different children post and get a fair picture of how many of these children interact and communicate. I’m “in the loop” yet don’t need to question my children unless I see something particularly concerning.